To Freak Or Not To Freak eh?

"...most women have it in their heads that sex is solely up to the man, he is supposed to make them cum. They don't know how to take ownership of their pleasure so when they don't climax, it's blame the man. They don't seem to understand if they do own that pleasure for themselves, and focus on it the end product is a culmination of greater pleasure for the dude."

This came up in a discussion with The Stig today after I expressed frustration at the concept of sexual freakiness being defined by women who merely are excited that they had sex outside, or have sex often. It lead to me pointing out that I feel most women are lied to by men, who don't tell them the truth about the fact that coitus in a particular position doesn't make it any freakier than in any other form.

A few nudes always get y'all so worried. 

I blame my other friend Shawn Dear for this, as he is the one who posted the meme asking women "on a scale of 1-10 how freaky are you?" The amount of 11s, 12s, 14s, 10+ to rattle on ...

These are the same women who would NEVER... make a sex video with their man or even take lunchtime nudes and send to their man.

Yep, they have multiple times stated, they would never do that, or anal sex, or swallow cum because it's nasty, they wouldn't even call him on their period just to suck his dick and be done, they don't have sex unless a man now run out the bath, can't have sex when people around, can't stick a finger in their butt, heaven forbid the man is a real freak and does a cum clean up and starts eating the pussy right after he spouts in it (oh sorry, did I not mention I was going to get raw as a motherfucker in this one? My bad), guy can't even risk suggesting a lil threesome with a sexy girl because "i is all the woman he need tho!" Ask them if they would fuck with a toy, "No! Nuh mock dick cahn do nain fuh me!" like seriously, HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU A FREAK IF THE ONLY THING YOU DO IS SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND GET FUCKED?

Don't even start telling me about how much you bend, flex and bounce... SHUT RIGHT THE RASSHOLE UP. SHUT UP. DON'T YOU DARE OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND INSULT ME.

Da Fuq are you feeling proud about?

You supposed to be doing that shit! You a grown ass woman, you ain't supposed to be laying there taking it, you are supposed be meeting him at least halfway in order to get this shit done right!!

You expect men to just up and wring dick in you, going and coming, oh in some of your defense, you would wake up and start playing with it and jump on and ride, HUZZAH FOR YOU SISTER, YOU FIGURED OUT STEP ONE OF NOT BEING A BORING FUCK... YAY.

But, so, erm, what about when you laying down doing absolutely nothing but looking like a pop down Hyacunth Bucket (YES I SEH HYACUNTH, WHAT!!) in her bibbidees, and you can't find it in yourself to up your long ass arms, and tweak a nipple on your own body? Rub a labia? Pop a digit in your butt? NOTHING?
Then you gonna jump on Snypa page talking about how much a freak you are.

You a freak when you add Hennessy? Then you ain't a freak, you just a woman who likes to get fucked when the lights are low and you're disoriented.

Why on earth would anybody need to tell you he wants to watch you palm and finger your own pussy? Why the fuck should he be begging you to spit on those nuts and twist your fucking wrist when you working that dick over? COMMIT TO THAT SHIT WOMAN!! WHAT IN THE WORLD OF BLUE BALLS AND BUSTING NUTS IS WRONG WITH YOU? 

Luckily y'all so fucking boring in bed that it definitely helped me to make the decision to quit horning y'all when I was younger, I ain't giving your fucking man an A+ fuck and all you doing is laying the fuck down and getting fat and sousey and I'm stuck picking up your slack. Get right the rasshole out.

Listen to rasshole me, I was a whole well paid Domme, part of my job was entertaining persons who wanted to explore out of the box. Guess what, the LEAST freaky shit I have seen live and direct in the club, was the woman who learned to pole dance for her man. Naked, in front of strangers. The most freaky shit included lube, paddles, restrains, a blind fold, and me trying not to get my hair gummy.

Y'all are NOT freaky. You hear me? You understand that? YOU ARE NOT FREAKY. You just have a houseful of nosy people, a suppressed sexuality, and natural curiosity towards what MIGHT be freaky. Which is fine, it's great. It means you're normal.

But, that's it. You're JUST NORMAL.

Being normal is PERFECTLY FINE. You don't have to like freaky shit, my god, it isn't a competition, everybody got their own tastes, some of us like to explore, some of us like to stay safe, but none of us need to be lying about who we are at this stage in life, soooooooooo skip that pretentious shit. Y'all the reason why men still lusting after the women who ain't afraid to talk smack and turn a church boy out.

Remember, being flexible, doesn't make you a freak. Fucking in the car once in a blue, doesn't make you a freak. If you flexible enough to lick your own clit, and you do, and if you fuck in the car, with the windows down on Spring Garden while hanging halfway out of the window while your girl driving and he just beating ... sure, then I might call you freaky. Otherwise, you just a little adventurous boo!!

Now, if you excuse me, Imma go rub on myself to some xnxx cuckholding cumshot clean up videos and imagine the cringing that occurred when you vanilla bitches put that category in with yuh gypsy asses.

A Love Letter To My Vagina

Dear HRV,

You are amazing, you know that?

I mean you have taken some pummeling in your life time, you have seen some dark days, you been up you've been down, you've been violated, you've been loved, and still you've given love, you've given birth, and you've never asked for anything.

There is a me without you, but there is no you without me. I've come to understand you, after years of hating you, after years of feeling intimidated by you, after years of not trusting you.

I've learned to cherish you, even on those days where I feel like you've been sent to terrorize me, even on the days that I think I deserve better than you, even when you woke me up and I was uncomfortable and you were cramping, you deserved my adoration at long last.

Sometimes, I joke that I should have had a penis, instead of you, but what would I have done with one? By now it would have dropped off or gone limp.

The things you have achieved have shown me that I myself am ignorant, I am afraid, and I am incomplete in my finality. For heaven's sake, you pushed out 8.7 lbs of human, and we won't discuss the amount of human you have taken, including the ones you did warn me against but I being an abysmal romantic, refused to listen. You are my number one player, and I love you.

I love the way you quiver when approached by a knowing adversary, how you give each one the appropriate and welcomed reward. I adore the way you challenge a lover to caress your grooves while plunging through your resistance to the very core of your rebellion and with no apologies I am in love with the very look of you.

You and your beauty are worth every whisper of praise given, you are worth every drop of spent bliss and to be completely honest, I have no idea why I haven't spent more time loving you, for myself.

She is without shame, the most
beautiful part of me. Her Royal Velvet

Sharing you on occasion is worth the idea of the invasion and possible threat of mutiny because you simply bask in the affections of others like a sinfully spoilt brat, now accustomed to the finest treatment and most extravagant nourishment. I have come again, to love the adoration of your suitors as much as I love you.

Forgive me for the many times I have starved you, or have fed you what you thought to be garbage, and I will forever find you the most wonderful, and complete little kitten ever.

Sincerely,
Me.