Being A Black Woman

Being a black woman is easy.

Be Sexy Dammit!! 

I gotta be sexy but lowkey, smart just not smarter than anyone who isn't a black woman, strong just the kinda strength that's really weak, black but not too black, but like ultra black, have a straight nose, and smaller lips than a Jenner, but not wrinkled like a Jolie, have straight edges and waist length naturally wavy, not straight, but not nappy, kinky nigga pepper lose hair, it can be loc'd but they gotta be that fancy look, like someone from another ethnicity chose them and I just wore them.

I gotta smell like vanilla and taste like caramel popcorn, and able to take insults but never ever able to insult, unless it's a white man who finds me attractive, I have to be ready to denounce the white devils, and be willing to be submissive to a Real Black King, but, gotta be single mom, just like his, until he comes to take on my kid, which I must be grateful for because I'm more a charity case for appreciation than deserving of respect, cuz I owe a strong black man the chance to show me how wrong I been doing things by myself even though I should know how to do everything by myself by now.

No Smart-Assery, No matter how smart you are!!

Oh, and not be smart mouthed, gotta know when to shut up, cuz I can't be making him feel unimportant or less intelligent because nobody needs to feel like I feel I'm smarter than them and I can only be sexy Muslim type sexy, you know all the shape and figure shown, no hair, no skin except my flawlessly gorgeous face that's naturally got contoured to death cheeks, gold shaded yet naturally tinted eyelids over Asian slanted grey, green or light brown eyes.

My booty gotta show thru with the ferocity of a mad Rihanna fan who got skipped over in the front row for that backstage moment for the white Beyonce fan, but it can't have any cellulite, cuz that's basic, and I gotta learn to cook like that same black king's mother, but for free because I'm supposed to have my own and don't no man need no woman he gotta provide food for while he's fucking her, that's basic.

I still gotta know how to eat and act in a restaurant that he'll forever post that annoying pic of the girl on her phone at, even though I'll never go there because I'm supposed to be busy working my 2 jobs to prove how resilient and unbreakable I am, to save money for OUR future, and I'll be tired but still have energy fuck him like he thinks Amber Rose chunky ass was fucking Wiz skinny ass, while reciting the Psalms of Solomon but denouncing the white supremacy, and being Mother Superior to all his trust fuck bastards because he's not ready to get married to my whoring ass since I let him knock me up before we got married and his mother thinks he can do better.

Easiest shit in the world eh? 

So I gotta go to school but like I said it gotta be still within the realm of stupid, gotta be on my religion and love God, like a decent Black Christian Girl but enlightened to ancient Egypt, and I've got to have my children's hair looking on point while balancing my job, school and babysitting these overgrown man children that need strong, smart, stupid, soft, hard black women, while at the same time remaining smiling and untainted by the fuckery going on around me, that no matter what happens, it follows me because my skin is either too black or not quite black enough to match a) my level of intelligence or b) my level of intolerance to fuckery (also known as my ghetto reaction when I start cussing wunna right the fuck out)

Yeah.

Being a black woman, it's easy.