Society continues to put the weight of
responsibility on the backs of our girls by continually ratifying the
irresponsibility of the men in our societies, and giving them no
sense of personal accountability.
We continue to let boys be boys, even
though we have deliberately set the stage that boys will always be
more than liable for their indiscretions despite our personal
feelings on the matters.
At some point, we will need to realize,
the mentality of always seeking to move the spotlight FROM the boy in
question to share it on the girl who he committed the act with, is
the entire reason why a significant fraction of the men in society,
refuse to act in a manner conducive to themselves and to society in
general.
They don't have to, because someone
else will always hold the blame, while all they have to do is pay a
nominal social fine.
It plays out every day, a man catcalls
a woman, she is dressed accordingly, the catcalls turn to straight
out harassment, it is her fault, he is responding to her stimulation
of his sex. She dressed in a manner that he as a man must react
lewdly, and it is her fault for initiating the situation by dressing
in such an inviting manner.
This same society will jail a man for
acting on the impulse to procreate with a younger than legal age
female, simply because she is available for the act and he feels to
act on his impulse regardless of legal ramifications of such
behavior.
On one hand we tell them it's okay to
be an impulsive, immature, obscene oaf, on the other hand, we crush
them for following nature, for obeying their developing sexuality.
We as a society lump the predators with
the prey and harpoon them to the full extent of the law without mercy
or second thought.
We draw blood from the girls, the boys,
the women, the men, the parents, we launch proverbial free kicks at
the moving goal posts that is what is socially acceptable and morally
right, sinking the ball into the back of the net of what is legally
correct.
It is proven that boys do not mature as
quickly as girls, yet girls are vilified for being physically ready
for sexual contact, but still grossly uneducated to the mental and
emotional changes that occur as our bodies get ready to birth the
next generation. In the same breath, we lambaste boys, who have NEVER
been held accountable wholly for their own actions, they have never
been allowed to develop, they themselves have never been groomed by
an entire society, many of them come from single parent homes, with
their mothers as the thin gossamer between them and a cruel harsh
reality, that the world only sees them as useful for only as far as
their dicks reach, unlike their female counterparts, who the world
sees as the loyal pack mules of our societies.
Girls are doggedly groomed into the
heads of the next age, men remain suppressed in a toxic fog of
pseudo-masculinity, and the painful part is we only seem recognize
the cracks in the mirror, when things go so horribly wrong that
someone is either dead, or going to jail. When someone gets raped, or
murdered, that's when WE a society, realize that we are setting our
babies, boys and girls, up for failure.
Even then, what do we do? We the
society, what do we do when things go horribly wrong?
We a society, we blame the girl and
give the boy a severe punishment for his lack of knowledge and lack
of comprehension. He doesn't understand what exactly he did wrong
half of the time, we never bother to correct it, we only punish.
The boy who gets caught trying to force
a girl to suck his wang, simply knows he sexually assaulted her, but
he does not know why it is sexual assault, judging from some of the public comments on the situation, many adults don't know either. The 22 year old guy who
has sex with a 14 year old girl, who he was dating for 2 years does
not know that his irresponsibility is what he is being punished for,
he is punished even though up until he did one wrong thing, he was
the representation of this girl's "little boyfriend".
The girl get's a stiff moral reprimand,
but society forgives her in 4 years, she is automatically slotted
into “social norm” by following the habit of younger woman/older
man, but the guy, he's forever labeled a child rapist. Even though it
might have just been that one time.
There is very little dialogue to guide
men INTO this cruel ocean of realities and nuanced expectations, he
is just supposed to KNOW, you have sex with the young ones and keep
them close, when you get older you find one that can keep a home
because she was raised right, sew some wild oats and get the EP
points and by time you're 35, find one that is not too hard on the
eyes, with one child or less and settle down.
Us girls seem to have an easier run,
seeing as we are groomed from birth to settle into the niche of
mammy/wife, but, this is as far as my limited observation will go.
It's time to recognize it cannot be
this black and white. We cannot continue to set boys up for failure,
they do not deserve it, and neither do women deserve to continue to
be raising boys into men, when we decide to find mates.
All of this... All of this... This, and many other mistakes made that affect our young adults can only be corrected by parenting when the children are still very young...
ReplyDeleteParents have to learn to turn off the cricket, turn down the stove, pull over the car, whatever, stop what they are doing and teach the children what they are doing wrong and why. This is the way you teach and instill respect for others in your children.
Yes, it takes time. And energy. And it interrupts your life. But unless you are willing to actually teach them right from wrong, and answer their questions honestly about what they see in the world... Unless you are willing to do all that, there is no guarantee that your children will grow up any different from how they are growing up now.