A Candid Conversation About Grown Folk Shit - That Munkey Wrench

I just realized, we as women put some seriously unrealistic standards on to other women, and we mostly lie about our vaginal health.

It is never this dry, never this well presented
and certainly never this well contained.

I am 33, and to this day, I don't know a single woman who hasn't gotten a yeast infection at least once.

Yet we as women rather sit the fuck down and discuss gossip about other women's vaginas and their habits, like if we've never gone through some awkward medical shit of our own.

When I first discovered i was having a reaction to certain brands of condoms, AND to my fiance, I freaked out, I was terrified and had no idea how to deal with it.

It was socially crippling.

I was doing everything right, but yet I had an odor and no one to talk to about it at that time (was really embarrassed to go to my doc because he had been my doc from childhood, that's like going to my dad and saying every time I have sex, I leak sumn...)

Eventually it resulted in an older girlfriend coming to me, sitting me down and talking to me, telling me she knows me well enough to know I couldn't be aware of what was wrong, and she doesn't like talking behind 'anybody she respects' back.

I finally went to my doctor, and I cried like a lil bitch to tell him i infected my cooter and didn't know how, or how to save her.

I was what? 22? Lordt! He scolded me for trying to deal with that by myself for 2 years when I could have simply come to him and gotten the solution.

Douches are hardly ever good things. Honestly.
Don't let them in your vagina. 

My lover was throwing off my pH, the latex or spermicide in my condoms when we used them was also aggravating me, and my vagina was overworking herself to correct the mistakes I was making over and over. By douching and washing with harsher soaps, I was making it worse!

I mean up to this point, I never knew semen could affect me, and I thought condoms were supposed to protect me, understand, I've been using condoms since I lost my virginity, (many moons ago- mind ya business, I been fucking long enough to have written several books on it) and I never knew they could offset my body's balance because it had never happened to me.

Everyday I was around women, and only one of them thought to sit me down and help me understand that all the "right" things I was doing, were the "wrong" things. The rest just felt like talking behind my back, making accusations about my sexual habits, whispering and gossiping about how my lover and all the men I was supposedly cheating on him with, who were giving me the nasty infections, could possibly endure sex with me.

This kind of thing is why I stopped fucking with a lot of females, and just went off by myself for a good few years, if I can't trust y'all to come to me about things this close to us all, how can I trust you to be in my life? Not to mention I was privy to pick up the same odors from some of these same very women in my immediate presence more than twice after my experience, but, I had no intention of offering my ignorant opinion.

At 33, I now know better, and I refuse to let a younger woman, go through the shame I went through, be a better woman, passing on wisdom, costs us nothing.

Men too, you don't have to make your female friends embarrassed, just talk to them, we spend hours chitchatting about sexual positions, and our past exploits, if you can tell her about that time you stuck your dingaling in an ants' nest, you can sit her down and talk to her about her health. Shit, y'all talk to your male friends I hope.