This One is For The Rough And Tough Women

It's at this moment, Miley KNEW, she fucked up.

Everybody loves to come for us loud mouth aggressive girls, for example, Rihanna once mic punched a dude in the head because he didn't understand not to touch her, and later in life, she was recorded in the incident when she snarled "Move" at another guy who didn't want to understand she wasn't going to have her path blocked by him. Of course there's Nicki Minaj's "Miley, What's good?" outburst at the 2015 VMAs, the COUNTLESS times Mo'Nique has been called an "Angry Black Woman", and the mother of all us ruthlessly, unapologetic un-ladies, Grace Jones.

People stay reviling these women and their ability to take no shit and react, writing them off as loose cannons only dependable for the stereotypical, predictable eruptions of wrath. "Nothing but drama, ugh, didn't have to act like that" is the sentiment they usually echo when describing our flare-ups. 

As one of these women, I realized young, we constantly find ourselves shut out of social circles, professional circles and familial circles, because someone pushed us too far, and we react. 

We're never given a chance because we "live for drama", which isn't the case, many of us do not in fact, enjoy drama or being messy, which is why we react so explosively when faced with situations that could have been avoided if persons had respected our boundaries, opinions, space, time or any other triggers that we are usually transparent in regards to how easily disregarding such things set us off.

People don't like us because we start with being loud and leave no room for them to attempt their bananagans resulting in a buncha unnecessary shit, that we really didn't want to accommodate in the first place. We clip it quickly, loudly, aggressively.

Apparently that makes us problematic. Apparently that means we can not be the voice for certain causes, as we don't represent "the ladies", ours is not the voice that the decent, middle class, decent ones ever want.

They will envy our skill at keeping the crowds attention, they will charge us with starting the fight, because we the aggressive girls, we never back down, we stand our ground and we will drag everybody to good reasoning, whether they want it or not.

We cast aside our own fears, and let our loudest voices speak, for everyone who doesn't have a voice, knowing that it is us, who will be blamed the INSTANT something goes wrong, knowing it is us who everyone considers the drama queens and way too extra messy chicks.

That's fine.

so yall gonna let these heauxs off cuz they speak
softly? 

What about those passive aggressive, pretentious women, who manipulate situations, use and abuse the same aggressive women, then use the fact that the aggressive women are known for their incredibly short fuses to isolate them wrongfully, using a gossamer of convenient truths, to support the view that the loud, aggressive women, are so problematic that no one can engage them without it falling to pieces?

What about those women who hide their unscrupulous, self serving purposes, behind the pretense of being well intended, well behaved, and adjusted women?

Aggressive women get a bad rap, we stand judged based on other people's discomfort in dealing with confrontation, and it is used against us, by people who KNOW confrontation would reveal that there is justification for our aggression. Yet we are the ones who people approach with distrust and anxiety, because we get painted as the ones who have questionable motives, and that's why we blow up.

  

All the while letting the manipulative lil bitches, (who know to prey on the fear of confrontation by the meek and quiet) get away with destroying the image of anyone not forthcoming to being used as their patsies. 

Cute as a button, but pugnacious as a motherfucker

As a loud and aggressive woman, I like to look around me ever so often, and take stock of the people who have remained in my life, not DESPITE of my aggression, but, because of it.

My best friends have been in my life, one since we were 5, another since we were 14, and the final ones came in my adult life. Only one of them has an equally explosive temper matching mine, and he too, learned over the years to temper himself, after being blamed for being the one who always blows up, but, he is a man, the concerns about his temper comes with the presumption that as a man he is SUPPOSED to be aggressive, he is SUPPOSED to be confrontational, that is the way of the alpha male. 

He has stood by me through some flat out bullshit from people, and watched me defy socialization and instead of hiding, I chose to blow up, I chose to let it all out. 

That's what makes me wonder, is it that people see aggressive women as problematic, or is it that society is full of shit, and our tendency to violently reject manipulation, abuse and oppression worries society, first because society likes being manipulated, and manipulating the oppressed, and secondly, because it is known that we are the ones who are the front line in the wars? 

Sure the diplomats talk and dance, looking pretty in the limelight, but it is us, the warriors who put ourselves on the line, beating our chests in defiance, and roaring in the face of anyone who stands between us, and our goals, we carry the weight of being the ones who refuse to be bullied into a corner, yet, we are called bullies, because we discard any pretense of urbanity, and simply let them have "it", as offenders should, in necessary circumstances.